I’m throwing down the gauntlet. I’m just going to (naively) state that we can all be happier, we just must decide that that is what we want. Oh, and come up with a plan, and implement it religiously for quite a while, and then have it start magically become automatic. I’m going to run this experiment in real time (again) and see how it goes.
I originally had earmarked this “lesson” as “Easy life hacks”, but that seemed too unfocused. I think this also might be the first time that I have referred to one of these ramblings as a “lesson”. I have always shied away from that word as it sounds both arrogant and scary and implies a teacher/student relationship and even more so that I have any idea what I am talking about. Well, since I think of these as lessons, and call them that in my own documentation on my computer, I might as well own it, that is how I think of these. These are my lessons to myself, my daughter, and any other fellow journeyers that I might bump into on the path. Should “path” be capitalized?
Start everyday writing down four things that you are grateful for. I did this for a while, and it sort of became automatic until it didn’t, I’m going to start typing now and go find that neat red little journal I used to use. I’ll be back. Okay, day one done. I could feel a little flurry of happiness spread through me when I wrote “#3 My daughter”.
Another thing that I have gotten pretty good at doing is meditating (albeit poorly). I truly suck at meditating but I have been doing it on and off most my life and since Covid I have gotten to about 90% of the days I figure. My mind will drift for likely most of the time during my daily 30-minute sessions, but nonetheless, I always feel calmer afterwards. Alert and calm and quiet. Start with 10 minutes a day and increase it a minute a week until you are up to how long you would like to practice for. Remember that it is called practice!
I now call everyone I meet friend. This is both so easy to do and so hard to stop doing! I think it is disarming. I think it is generous. It also avoids misgendering someone which I have done a few times I am pretty sure. I truly can’t stop it! It’s like saying “cool beans,” no idea how that started but I think it is also permanently part of me now.
Another new habit I am trying to cultivate is to intentionally force myself (if necessary) to look at all events as positive. Surely there must be drop of Yin in every sea of Yang, we just need to look harder sometimes. What window might have been opened by losing that job? Will the doctor’s plea of eating less meat lead to discovery of your new favorite veggie (eggplants are magical by the way). I’ve had a hard time getting this one to stick over the years, but I’ll try again. I can always start again anytime (that was number 5 on my list this morning, and yes, I added a fifth to my list of four gratitudes, (we’ll just keep that between us!)
I’m going to try to add “writing every morning when I get up” to this list. I’ve done it two days in a row, tomorrow I will go for three.
Okay, now to come clean. Many of these things require some time in your day to accomplish, some more time than others. Another that I was going to list was to cook everyday that you can rather than reheating premade stuff or getting take out. It is so beneficial in so many ways. But I know this is a luxury that I have as we have been fortunate to build a life where I as the stay-at-home-Dad have a good amount of discretionary time to write and cook and walk, oh I forgot walking. If you can, walk with a friend or a loved one. Walk in silence or talk. But the left right engagement of hemispheres of the brain is supposed to do some good stuff and exercise is always good and I know that my anxiety is always lessened by simply getting outside as well as by moving. We live in Seattle where it drizzles half the year. I had a great hike in a light mist yesterday. It is good for our hearts both metaphorically and literally.
Start today, everyone can write down (or at least in their head say to themselves) four things that they are grateful for as they wake. Call everyone you meet friend. Start easy, be realistic, add and prune as you see fit. Walk the path courageously, honestly, and joyously in service of others. It’s good for your joints!